Tag Archives: sex

Korean Sex And Cambodian Govt Corruption: Why You People Read My Blog And What You Are Fiddling Around With On The Internet

8 Feb

Korean Sex And Cambodian Govt Corruption: Why You People Read My Blog And What You Are Fiddling Around With On The Internet

By Nate Thayer

It is, together, alarming, confusing, depressing, and downright fascinating sometimes when reviewing the analytics of who you people are that come and read my blog–and exactly how you get here.

The top search terms that drove people to my blog today are as follows:

1.”choeung sopheap”
3.korean sex
4.air koryo business class
5.sex korean
6.westboro baptist church number
7.khmer police big cock
8.bd korian sex.com
9.korea sex

You will note there is a theme that emerges here: Sex Continue reading

Pyongyang Porn: “Some readers may find the book objectionable” @NKNewsorg

23 Aug

Excerpts from Pyongyang Porn

“Some readers may find the book objectionable”
For the full story, go to NKNews.org at http://www.nknews.org/2013/08/pyongyang-porn/ , the news organization that comprehensively provides quality journalism on all North Korea. Below are excerpts…….
cammy-smithwick-pyongyang-fuck-kim-jong-un-ladies-stockings (1)

Artwork by NK News illustrator Cammy Smithwick


Mhari Yi, who moved to Edinburgh to attend Napier University and stayed on to work, was excited as she embarked on a new side career as a budding author. She lived happily for ten years in Edinburgh, Scotland, she said in several interviews with NKNews.org

On May 12, 2012, she published a book. On May 14, she wrote on her blog “I am so happy. My first book has been published!” But Miss Yi had also set another precedent: she is the first to penetrate the virgin North Korean porn market, dragging the famously thin-skinned and prudish dictatorship against their will into the hard core world of erotic literature.

The cheeky promotional blurb for Pyongyang F@%K: Deep inside North Korea declares the barely legal protagonist “Dae is a young Korean girl who has just turned 18 and is looking for a little fun. Now is the time for a little excitement deep inside North Korea.“

If the North Korean government gets wind of the erotica author’s work, Miss Yi may find herself on the receiving end of a serious tongue lashing.

In August, 2012 an obscure Australian weekly paper angered North Korea by publishing a graphic of the London Olympic medal count which labeled Pyongyang “Naughty Korea” and its southern neighbor as “Nice Korea.” Pyongyang went ballistic and fired off a missive (that is missive, not missile) over state media for the “sordid behavior” of “challenging the authority of the dignified sovereign state” calling the Melbourne mX a  “naughty paper” and a “symbol of rogue paper for its misdeed to be cursed long in Olympic history.”

But the 31 year old porn writer has been much naughtier………..


In Pyongyang F@%K: deep inside North Korea, the protagonist, the barely 18 Park Min Dae, engages in a series of bawdy Pyongyang romps using her wicked talents to seduce top party cadre, distracting them from their revolutionary duties, under the gaze of the ubiquitous portrait of the regime’s dictator, Dear Leader Kim Jong Il.

Miss Park, with breasts “like grapefruit” and buttocks “like two luscious juicy melons placed perfectly together” starts “working for the party” as a photographer for the Pyongyang Times.

On her first day on the job, she intends “a lot more than a boring first day at work”, returns to her bosses house and seduces him, only to then have North Korean intelligence agents appear out of nowhere and drag her now ex-boss off to his certain fate. Her future now firmly in the hands of the feared secret police, the very naughty Miss Park prostrates herself in front of the portraits of the Great Leader Kim Il Sung and Dear Leader Kim Jong Il and begs for mercy–and offers other rather risque, specific compensatory incentives to the secret police agents–and she is given a break, only to ratchet up and continue her subversive erotic antics. She returns home and tells her mom that her boss had quit but “the new one may even give me a promotion!”

The British Foreign and Commonwealth office helpfully suggests, in its travel advice offered to UK citizens visiting Pyongyang , to refrain from “perceived insults to, or jokes about, the North Korean political system and its leadership which are severely frowned upon,” adding that visitors have “found themselves in trouble for not paying what was deemed to be a sufficient level of respect.”…………

……………………………………….In Pyongyang F@!!k, Miss Park’s parents leave a life of luxury “in Japan to live in Pyongyang, North Korea. I know reading this now you may think why on earth someone would do something so stupid?” she writes. Her father was then taken by the secret police “who had come at night but I heard many rumors from my friends that my dad had been a bad man and had committed crimes of treason against the state and our Dear Leader.”

She probably made a good choice to use a pseudonym when she penned her no holds barred erotica set in North Korea. The Pyongyang authorities are famously grumpy when it comes to challenging the official propaganda portraying the Godlike virtues of the hereditary Kim family regime.


In June last year, upset at South Korean media, North Korea threatened the “reduction to ashes in three or four minutes, by unprecedented unusual means” several offending newspapers.

One particular newspaper in South Korea merited a declaration from the famously thin skinned Korean Central News Agency that military “strategic rocket forces” had “zeroed in” on the journalists and then broadcast the precise military map coordinates of the papers office in downtown Seoul……Less than a week later the newspaper was the target of a sophisticated cyber attack, destroying their databases and temporarily paralyzing production.

“We have dispatched our investigators urgently to the Joongang Ilbo to secure evidence,” Jong Seok-hwa, chief investigator of South Korea’s government Cyber Terror Response Center said in an interview with a Seoul newspaper. ”We have never seen a strong attack like this before.”

KCNA added the international media were “dens of heinous provocateurs hurting the dignity of the supreme leadership” concluding they “should not be allowed to exist.”

In Pyongyang F@#k: deep inside North Korea, after her father was disappeared, her mother then “married the head of the peoples party in our province” who the randy Miss Park proceeds to tease and seduce.

The book is decidedly not family friendly reading.  A disclaimer says “some readers may find the book objectionable, saying it contains references to “voyeurism, exhibitionism, anal play, anal sex, oral sex, extended orgasms, graphic language, vaginal sex and cock sucking. “

It can be assumed that among those “readers who find the book objectionable” would include the ruling officials in the “workers paradise” of North Korea…….

……And she might take special note of the helpful British Foreign Office tip on traveling to Pyongyang that it is “not advisable to bring books” as “these and any other literature deemed subversive or pornographic by the North Korean authorities risk being confiscated from travelers on arrival.”

She might even want to remain alert when in Edinburgh. In July 2010, two North Korean diplomats walked into the Rangoon, Burma office of ……the author of “Kim Jong Il: The Dear Leader of North Korea,” one ordering him to immediately stop distributing his book, while the other diplomat confiscated all the remaining unsold 310 copies. “They said I used two American books as references,’ Hein Latt, 62, told Reuters at the time……

“To tell the truth, I gave the books to them because I am afraid of North Koreans. I know more about them than others because I am writing about them.” He said one spoke “English but the other didn’t. He just stood there and collected the books.” The North Korean diplomats didn’t even offer to pay for them. And the Burmese language book had been approved by the Burmese Ministry of Information Press Scrutiny Department, a government hardly known for its fidelity to press freedoms or tolerance for political controversy.

“If anything came of my silly little erotica, I would love it to be that someone gets more interested in North Korea,: Miss Yi said. “ It really is shocking how little is publicized about the horrors that occur in North Korea!”

Mhali Yi, when asked if she is single, says: “One could say that. I’m not in a serious relationship at the moment. It’s not something I’m currently looking for as I don’t wish to be tied down.”

That likely would be the most pleasant of her possible fates if the North Korean regime got their hands on the Edinburgh lass.

For the full story, go to NKNews.org at http://www.nknews.org/2013/08/pyongyang-porn/ , the news organization that comprehensively provides quality journalism on all North Korea.

Canadian Sex Advice Columnist Weighs in on Atlantic Kerfuffle Over Pay the Writer

3 Jun

Prominent Canadian Sex Advice Columnist and Very, Very Good Bad Girl Weighs in on Atlantic Kerfuffle Over Pay the Writer

 By Nate Thayer

June 2, 2013

Yesterday I received a very supportive message from an esteemed colleague in the international press corps, which was deeply appreciated.

In addition to being a renowned, nationally syndicated Canadian sex advice columnist, Alex Tigchelaar has been a stripper, sex worker, playwright, performance artist and an all-around very, very good very bad girl.

She made me smile.

Alex Tigchelaar wrote in support of the lingering, only slightly muted, kerfuffle over writers being paid for their work which was sparked by a recent exchange I had with the Atlantic magazine which sought to engage my professional services with the caveat that I agree they did not have to pay me for them.

As a professional colleague, Alex took strong offense to this arrangement and wrote me to say just that.

Dear Nate,

Thank you for giving me something to reference/talk to people about when they are surprised to see me, a formerly syndicated columnist, standing behind the bar at Sweaty Betty’s or mopping the floor at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre.

I say, “Read Nate Thayer’s piece on the state of journalism. If he’s being asked to write for free we’re all fucked.”

On the upside it’s been nice talking to people about what a positive impact my work had on them.

As you probably know yourself, you usually only hear from people who want to kill you when you are actively writing.

Thanks Nate, for your dignified outrage.

If you are in Toronto please stop by Sweaty Betty’s. Drinks are on me if I’m behind the bar.

I also bartend at a transsexual strip club.

Not sure if that’s more up your alley but if it is, again, drinks on me.

Your pal and longtime fan,


My colleague journalist, sex worker, and Renaissance woman Alex Tigchelaar

My colleague journalist, sex worker, and Renaissance woman Alex Tigchelaar

Buddies in Bad Times is a theatre company dedicated to the promotion of Queer Canadian Culture, voted Toronto’s Best Small Theatre Company in 2012, and “dedicated to the nurturing, protection, and celebration of queer culture.”

Alex is clearly an advocate of the Queer community, but maintains cynical distance of blind support for what appears to be just about anything—an essential trait of good journalism. “Homos and hookers go together like peanut butter and jam—sometimes anyway. I could do without some of this current crop of queer, The Revolution Starts Up My Ass hookers.”

Sweaty Betty’s is a storied Toronto dive bar where “the tortured literati rendezvous nightly”, a “small, bordello-inspired den” located across the street from one of Toronto’s oldest mental institutions.

“In a city of infused vodkas and creative cocktails, Betty’s refuses to mix anything with more than three ingredients, “said a review in Lonely Planet of Sweaty Betty’s. “ This no-nonsense approach pares a night out at the bar to the essentials: having a good time and chatting people up.”

Betty’s sounds like my kind of establishment and Alex my kind of barkeep.

The only negative comment I found on Sweaty Betty’s was an online review from ‘Mellisa’, who objected to “one of the male bartenders stole my friend’s hat from off the bar where she put it down for a moment. She phoned them the next day and asked if they had found it, they said no. Then, the next time she went, she saw the guy WEARING her hat.” But even Mellisa said “I do like the location, décor and ambiance of Sweaty Betty’s — but I can only put up with the people if I’ve already been drinking. And drinking a LOT.”

Sign at Toronto bar Sweaty Betty's

Sign at Toronto bar Sweaty Betty’s

Alex did not identify the transsexual strip club where she bartends, but I am confident I can get the directions from her next time I am in Toronto where I will be sure to drop by Sweaty Betty’s to quench my considerable thirst for people with minds like Alex Tigchelaar.

Former journalist and Sweaty Betty’s barkeep, Alexandra Tigchelaar, from whom I have a standing invitation for drinks on the house, is indeed a formerly nationally syndicated columnist in Canada–author of the weekly sex advice Montreal Mirror’s column Love Bites from 1999 to 2009. Her work as a journalist has been widely praised as insightful, witty, powerful, and honest.

But, in addition, Alex has an impressive resume which includes neo-Burlesque performer, stripper, artist, playwright, sex worker, actor, author, and journalist who sometimes writes under the pen name Sasha Van Bon Bon.

<iframe src=”http://player.vimeo.com/video/20803154&#8243; width=”500″ height=”299″ frameborder=”0″ webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen>

MothUP Toronto IX – LOVE & SEX – Sasha (Alex Tigchelaar) – “Feature Dancer” from MothUP Toronto on Vimeo.

Alex was co-creator of The Scandelles, a Toronto male-female burlesque cabaret troupe, since renamed Operation Snatch. She is also the curator of cabaret Dirty Plotz, which is about the “Politics of Pussy”.

She studied creative writing and English literature at Concordia University but her art is mostly a product of working in Montreal and Toronto’s strip clubs, where she found her talented, unorthodox creative voice.

A nationally syndicated sex columnist since 1994, she has written about sexuality for numerous publications, and is co-author of a short porn film called Give Piece of Ass a Chance (which screened at over 20 international film festivals), has penned an erotic comic for Eros Comics called Beatrix Dominatrix, hosted erotic events, and performed as a go-go dancer on the Canadian Broadcasting Company’s 60th anniversary televised show.


“As a cabaret theatre artist I explore the space of Revered/Reviled.  I know this space very well.  This is a space of divine creation but it is one that is often foisted upon a person – it’s not entered willingly.  Learning to live in it with grace and resourcefulness is difficult.  It can make a woman fucking crazy,” Alex said in a 2012 interview.

“In Dirty Plötz, we are, quite literally, examining the Sacred and Profane Hole,” she said in another interview.  ‘Plotte’ is French-Canadian slang for pussy.  In addition, the title of the piece “Dirty Plotz” is a play on the 1990’s comic Dirty Plotte by Julie Doucet.

“Doucet was, in her words, interested in ‘sex, violence, menstruation and male/female issues’, and so am I. Big time,” said Alex in the Canadian interview.

Since not only did I appreciate her thoughtful words of support to me as a colleague, but we shared similar interests, I promptly wrote a thank you note to Alex.

Dear Alex:

Out of the considerable hundreds, at least, of friendly incoming missives I have received regarding that story, yours is, by far, my favorite to date.

Thanks for the grin inducing, thoughtful, kind words,

If the bastards ever do force me off my perch, I had always thought that my only alternative employment possibilities for which I might be qualified would be working third shift at some urban 7/11.

Now I know there is at least some hope for a better alternative if such an unspeakable scenario materializes.

Good on ya. And thanks again. Keep up the great work.

Your pal and new fan,


“I don’t understand why the job is illegal—there’s just something about that that drives me fucking mental,” said Alex in another 2012 interview on the rights of sex workers. “I cannot, for the purposes of supporting myself, use my own body to do that? Sure, I can go and become a construction worker, or a  lawyer and I can use my body and my brain to generate income—often, in those cases, fairly unethically—but I cannot use my body to generate my own income? What the fuck is wrong with that picture?” said the sex worker, activist, journalist and performer.

To me, Alex Tigchelaar seamlessly integrates the essential purpose of free speech among free people in free societies and the role of a free press.

“I mean yes, putting a bunch of woman of different sizes and gender presentation on stage, that’s minimally revolutionary, but let’s get those people telling their stories,” she said. “Seeing a woman of size or a transsexual performing, that’s just one thing, but now that we have the opportunity, let’s go deeper than that. We got on stage taking our clothes off, and then we opened our mouths.”

Alex succinctly summed up her multi-talented body of work. “Underneath all of those personalities and people is the truth, which is: ‘It’s my body, I have agency over it—not you.’”

I would add only that it is Alex’s mind, as well, which she has demanded equal agency over.

“What I’ve realized is that people become quite angry when they’re faced with these stories, they’re much happier listening to the stories of women being victimized,” she said.

Speaking of sex workers, Alex says “our stories are often trivialized through the lens of shame and criminality. When we talk about kept women, we act as though these women were the only ones who were kept when this was and continues to be the reality for so many women—as though a wife, sister, or servant wasn’t or isn’t kept, and often with much more rigid terms. I contest the concept of “kept” when it comes to sex workers anyway. It’s far more complex than that. I’m also tired of people saying, ‘No girl dreams of being a stripper.’ Seriously, speak for yourself.”

female burlesque cabaret troupe, Operation Snatch performing in Dirty Plotz, which is about the “Politics of Pussy”

female burlesque cabaret troupe, Operation Snatch performing in Dirty Plotz, which is about the “Politics of Pussy”

After a cursory peak at Alex’s impressive life, I asked her for permission to quote from her private correspondence to me.

Hi Alex:

I wanted to post your kind note on my blog and FB private page, and wanted to make sure you had no objections to identifying you as the author. If you do, no worries, just give me a shout.

The message remains much appreciated. Is journalism a great fucking job or what? Not the least for putting me in the mix of people like yourself.



She responded:


My only objection would be to referring to XXXX as XXXXX, for fear of alerting the moral authorities to its true nature and putting my hard working colleagues at risk for arrest. We are still in a fairly grey legal area in Canada. If you could refer to XXXX as XXXX, that would be very appreciated.


I replied:

Hi Alex:

Will do.

That was exactly the reason I wanted to double check. It dawned on me that Canada has been going through some legal acrobats over these laws in the last couple years, right up until recent weeks, if I am not mistaken.

The last thing I want to do is get you or your colleagues locked up. Quite the contrary, I think we would agree our shared mission is to keep people free, despite the quite alarming knucklehead factor which appears to be metastasizing against that trend and these efforts.

I will make the suggested adjustments.

Stay in touch.



Alex responded:


Thank you! Yes, that knucklehead factor is more alarming than you can imagine.

If you can believe it, a half dozen organizations with open religious affiliations have been granted intervener status in the Supreme Court hearing on June 13th while 5 supportive, non-abolitionist and sex worker run sex work organizations  have been denied intervener status. (And here is the kicker quote of the year) I am thrilled that people who believe that the end of days will be heralded by a whore on a multi-headed beast will be permitted to object to a woman’s right to make money using her body (well, a certain part of it at any rate) over my sensible and experienced colleagues.


With that final message, and that brilliant final sentence, I formally have included Alex to my fictional “12 people in history you would invite to a dinner party” guest list.

I think I will sit Alex on my right, next to Jesus.

With Pol Pot, directly across from her, who will be seated next to the Pope, who will be allowed to be accompanied by one, handsome, young male attendant.

Ronald Reagan would be in the mix. With Beethoven tinkling the ivories in the background and Sid Viscous on vocals.

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson would be in attendance along with Sir Winston Churchill and Christopher Hitchens. There are a couple remaining slots still open.

And, Alex, if you choose to attend, the drinks are on me.

Your pal and new fan, Nate

An Airplane From New York to Tokyo With a Pit Stop In Heaven

19 Jan

An Airplane From New York to Tokyo With a Pit Stop In Heaven

It was another long 16 hour non-stop transcontinental flight from the New York to Japan, and a three hour layover there before boarding another 6 hour flight to Bangkok. I was, as always traveling alone. And it promised to be interminably boring.

I always wait to near boarding time and request a seat in the very back middle row of four seats often left free by airline check-in personnel where if one is lucky you might find yourself with a row all to yourself and can raise the armrests and stretch out and sleep. I was lucky that night and got such a seat, but one never knew who might end up sharing your  row once boarding is complete. I settled in prior to take-off as the plane continued to board new passengers taking their assigned seats. I eyed each one headed towards me hoping they would take a seat prior to reaching the last row I was in.

Rolling a carry-on bag behind her, I spotted a very attractive woman walking towards me in her late 30’s, raven hair framing high cheekbones, full lips, and a smart form fitting black above the knee dress which highlighted a pair of strong thin legs that were those of an artist’s dream. She was checking her boarding card and looking at the row numbers as she made her way to my row, gave me a wide smile, and said ” I am sorry to ruin your privacy but I am seated next to you.”

“Oh no apologies, please. There is plenty of room. We have four seats all to ourselves,” I half fibbed, not sure whether to be pleased or not. She sat down in the middle leaving a seat between us.

Soon the plane taxied and took off, the loud hum of the engines made small talk difficult. We both exchanged pleasantries and settled into reading our books, newspapers, or computers we had with us. Drinks were served, meals arrived, and movies started all designed to distract from the monotony of a seemingly endless flight.

We would lean over and talk, offering short biographies of ourselves and our travel plans. I was returning to Bangkok and she was on her way to Japan on business. Both of us were single and Americans and both had made this plane trip too many times to count. The conversation was pleasant and easy and friendly and her smile and ease were enchanting.

Within a couple of hours the plane lights dimmed and people began to doze, although a steady traffic of passengers passed by us to the restrooms and the flight attendants came and went continuously. We fell into conversation passing the time, but it was hard to hear over the drone of the engines.

“Do you mind if I move to the seat next to you?’, she said,” It is hard to carry on a conversation form this far.”

“Please, i would be delighted, ” I said, and she raised the armrest and slid over next to me, holding my arm to assist her moving, my eyes moving from her lovely smile to her endless enticing legs, her short dress hiking up as she slide in next to me.

” Ah, this is much better. I can hear you!”, she whispered near my ear and smiled.

We laughed and chatted and told each other random stories as the time passed. The plane grew quieter as people dozed. The flight attendants came by and we asked for another round of drinks, both ordering a double vodka. The air-condition was quite chilly, we both agreed, and unwrapped the blankets provided and put them around our laps, sharing the two blankets. It was an easy relaxed conversation and we both fell into periods of the silence of our own thoughts. She began to doze and her head fell nuzzled on my shoulder in her dream state as if it belonged there. I tucked the blanket around her and let her rest and continued to read. She would adjust herself trying to be comfortable and her armed draped over my lap as her head felt like a perfect nook to fit in the cranny of my neck and shoulder. It was if it had always belonged there.

She woke briefly, looked up at me as if assessing approval. I smiled.

“You look very relaxed,” I said.

” I am”, she smiled and snuggled closer wrapping her arm more firmly around my waist, her elbow resting on my lap with the ease of a familiar lover. It was as if we had known each other before. But in fact just two people bypassing the awkwardness of first meetings and falling into  a comfort zone usually reserved for  those who had long before allowed themselves to be vulnerable to another. I put down my book and closed my eyes and drifted, with her, into slumber.

I was dreaming delicious feelings of arousal when I slipped back into consciousness and felt her hand brushing softly over my light khaki pants and looked down as she stared up at my eyes.

” Good morning”, she said with a mischievous smile.”I woke up and my hand felt you needed my attention. You were smiling in your sleep.” I shuddered and smiled……..

She responded with a firmer stroke. “Oh my, that feels so nice,” I said and moved my head to kiss her lightly on her lips. She pressed her mouth hard against me and let out a quiet moan. I reached down under her blanket and moved my hand up her firm thighs hiking her dress and she responded with approval by parting her legs further and moaning, and she rose to greet my touch with desire.

As I touched her she kissed me harder and. It was all so natural and sweet. No awkwardness or embarrassment as we let ourselves both revel in the pleasure we  were exchanging.

” God, that feels so nice,” she whispered softly.

“Oh yes, please don’t stop,” I said.

We bucked and grunted and moaned softly in muted approval, both gripped in lust and pleasure in synch with each other as our eyes locked with expressions contorted in pleasure.

I looked over and saw a blonde middle age flight attendant sitting across from us watching and she gave an approving smile, fixated on us. I was too distracted to care but appreciated she had no objection.

My new found lover in the air kissed me hard as she let herself lose herself to  pleasure moaning softly. Her freedom to let her desires go free made mine unleash with natural ease.

Panting,  her head rested on my shoulder and neck, our hands held each other exchanging sighs.

Breathing hard, we both said nothing for moments.

She looked up and smiled, kissed me, and said: “Thank You. What a wonderful travelling companion you are.”

“God, I feel like we are flying through the heavens. You are a gem, baby. Come rest with me.”

We wrapped our arms around each other and slept until woken for breakfast by the flight crew. The last few hours of the flight were one’s of easy banter, and smiles, and laughter, punctuated by random kisses and affection.

We deplaned in Tokyo, exchanged contacts, and kissed goodbye. I have never heard from her since. But I will always remember that flight free of the  restraints that limit us from pursuing pleasure when two people have the opportunity to seek, give, and receive it in such gentle ease.



Rape, Child Abuse, and Animal Cruelty: Women’s Sexual Freedom and Respecting My Pal Lamont

19 Jan

Rape, Child Abuse, and Animal Cruelty: Why Everyone’s Sexual Pleasure Requires Women Have Sexual Freedom

And Why That Means You Have to be Nice to My Pal, Lamont.

 By Nate Thayer

Warning: If you are disturbed by explicit sexual content or disturbing descriptions of violence do not read further

I recently posted a story outraged at those who force animals to fuck them. I said it was, like fucking a child, an unacceptable crossing of the boundary that all sex must be consensual; where all parties are capable and willing to consent, free from coercion, manipulation or force. With animals and children they simply don’t have the capability to give consent.

Importantly, I at the same time absolutely defended, and demand for myself, that all erotic desires be freely explored and are healthy to express. That none are better suppressed. But some must never be acted on, and some should be left to fantasy and role-play either by oneself or with a consenting partner.


The two inviolable guidelines are that we should all be free sexual beings, without judgment or shame or guilt. And you cannot deny anyone else that exact same right.  To carry sexual fantasy to action every participant must both give, receive, and exchange, full, clear, and non-coercive consent. We all have the right to explore whatever sexual desires we have. And none of us have the right to deny that in another.

This post will not make your pussy wet or your cock hard. If that is what you are seeking at the moment, and probably what I would prefer to be writing than this post, I would urge you to click the computer button and move on. You can find that in thousands of other stories posted online. If you want my take on why some things turn you on or whether fantasies are healthy to act on and some are not, you might—maybe–want to continue reading.

Below is an excerpt from an earlier missive I penned in response to some people who believe it is OK to fuck my dog titled “Except for One Obvious Exception…” I believe there are no limits to exploring sexual fantasies or desires by you or with anyone who consents to sharing them. I don’t care if anyone thinks mine are perverted, immoral, or simply has no erotic appeal to him or her. And I don’t judge the many I have no desire or even understanding of the sexual arousal and pleasure it brings to them. Who knows why we all have distinct sexual urges that drive us to unbridled frenzy? Who cares why? But exploring through shared fantasy and role-play and exploring through experiencing them are two very distinct things. This is my reaction to a question posed online earlier:  “Has anyone ever let a male dog fuck them?”…and the question poster continued “My wife had our German Shepherd fuck me like I was his bitch. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I was really sick feeling at first, but now I really like it and want him to!!”

There is a reason why non-consensual sexual acts are defined as rape and sexual assault. Animals cannot by definition consent. This is also fact for children. If you have erotic fantasies of non consensual sex, which I submit is common, normal, and shouldn’t be repressed for the many that do, then either by yourself or with a person or persons who share that sexual desire and fantasy, role play and explore it within the boundaries of fantasy. But to experience it by forcing it on another who isn’t willing or consenting is, and should be, unacceptable.  


Virtually any other sexual desire fantasy or fetish can be achieved and experienced consensually. I am aroused by many things others are not and who find no erotic pleasure in those I do. So if it is consensual and doesn’t involve animals and children, then I truly hold no judgment and defend your right to pursue without restriction fulfilling your own erotic needs.  I also understand when others see no erotic appeal in what turns me on and don’t impose my sexual menu of lust on others who don’t share them.

But to the above question poster I say: You should be arrested for animal cruelty, face the consequences of the full weight of the law, never be allowed to be around dogs, and will forever be the focus of my utter contempt.


And the same applies to those who force children to experience your selfish choice to force your desires on those incapable of consenting to choose to participate in them. Anything can be played out in role play and fantasy but to force an unwilling or incapable person or animal to serve your interests, regardless of knowingly ignoring, and refusing to respect, and choosing to abuse, and therefore deny that right to someone else, is firmly beyond defense. Of course you are ashamed of and beneath contempt for denying to someone the choice that you are demanding for yourself. You cannot deny the sexual freedom to anyone in order to achieve sexual pleasure. It is the sexual repression and denial of anyone that hurts everyone.  Full stop.

The response to this was civil and posed many questions that took issue, saying it was oversimplified. Many argued that sex with animals was separate from sex with children. “I don’t think it’s a consent issue and I’m not even sure it’s a animal cruelty issue. I’m absolutely certain it’s not appropriate to bracket it with child sexual abuse. All of that may be skirmishing around the fringes: I absolutely agree with your view that we cannot be held culpable for what turns us on, only for acting on it in a way that is likely to hurt or damage others.” And “I think consent or non-consent is a human attribute. To apply it to animals is a bit of a double standard…I mean, if animals can never consent, do you feel bad about killing and eating them, the way you feel bad about having sex with them? Which do you think is worse: eating an animal? Or giving them an orgasm? Why do we feel we have dominion over the animals?”

The arguments contended that there is a long history of bestiality. That if one was to use ‘consent’ as a rule guiding action towards animals than we should all be vegetarians.  “Consent is not the answer, unless you are prepared to follow it the whole way, which means veganism.” And “What is worse—killing or fucking an animal?” “It just becomes a matter of personal distaste at the thought of it; it’s a perversion to satisfy your carnal urges with a different species. But then again hunger is a carnal urge as well. Food, water and sex drive every species on the planet. So if its o.k. to eat a lesser species to satisfy your carnal hunger… why would it be wrong to ‘eat’ a lesser species to satisfy your carnal lust? 😉 ask them which they would prefer.”

Most agreed that the idea of fucking a child or animal was deeply offensive to them. But is being offensive to someone a justification for judging someone else’s or making an erotic urge illegal? 
”I asked for a reason bestiality was wrong, from a strictly legal and philosophical standpoint, and all I get is people calling it and me disgusting,” said another respondent. “I ask a question which you have failed to answer. …You and everyone else’s comments are nothing more than statements of how disgusting you find the act. But you have not yet explained the moral or philosophical reasoning behind why having sex with an animal should be illegal.” And “your comparison between child molestation and bestiality is a false premise. They are not ‘wrong’ for the same reason of ‘non-consent’. It is impossible for an animal to give consent, period. Cows aren’t even smart enough to understand the mortal danger they are in and greyhounds never really get the nefarious plot to chase a hare that never moves. So what exactly is ‘wrong’ with bestiality; besides that it is as gross to me as those people who claim to find their poop and pee sexually exciting?”  Others brought up the issue of exactly when a child is defined as old enough to consent.  “So the question about sex and animals is interesting. What is it that makes that behavior taboo not just for Vegans but also for, in practical terms, everybody? Is it just that we have hang ups about sex? Probably. Sexual morality and logic are, appropriately enough, not very comfortable bedfellows…. But don’t put someone who sexually abuses my children in the same bracket as someone who sexually abuses my dog. 

But let’s be clear – child sex abuse is not really a consent issue. If it is, we will have people trotting out “the exceptionally mature pre-pubescent argument”. And we will have no answer to them. There may well be children who have the maturity to consent to sexual activity with adults but I don’t want to live in a world where we let them.”

Still others said “what about incest?”


All these questions, and others, are legitimate and the debate could go on endlessly. “(Thayer’s) thesis about the underlying rationale being lack of consent is superficially attractive but is simply wrong and I will hold to that until persuaded otherwise. The problem is that the only suggested alternative, which is that some things are just inherently wrong and that it is innate in us to recognize them, doesn’t appeal to his (or my) rational mind.”

So here is my more thoughtful response.

We all have sexual desires, urges and fantasies that are the result of the complex wiring of life experiences, social conditioning, religious and cultural influence, repression and guilt, many based on painful as well as pleasant memories that form the architecture of our erotic minds.


Like, snowflakes, everyone one of us is different.

Specifically, without restriction, every one of us should be encouraged to embrace and explore whatever menu of sexual urges, desires, and fantasies make up the erotic menu of the buffet from which we can freely choose which dishes appeal to us.  I make absolutely no judgment on any sexual desires that gets anyone off or turns any one of us on. It is meaningless and irrelevant if I find some perfectly repulsive, or hold no erotic appeal for, or simply find baffling that it is included on anyone else’s sexual urges of choice. And I demand that there be no interference in my right to derive pleasure and explore those lusts desires and sexual kinks that make up mine. . There are many that we each find a distinct turn off, simply have no interest in, or find wincing at the thought of participating in. I have my own list in both categories as well. But clearly there are many who share each of ours and to find others with common sexual interest and to explore them together is a joy, a right, and a gift.  But to take that to one step further—to experience or act upon—has another set of very clear inviolable boundaries for all of us.

It is consent. And the issue is the guidelines for acceptable rules of human sexual behavior. It has nothing to do with whether humans eat animals, or whether animals are lesser beings. Or whether some children mature earlier than others. For the same reason whether many women have sexual fantasies of being raped. Coerced and non consensual sex not just forces others to participate against their will. It forces many not to participate in sexuality they in fact desire.


For many, if not all women, there is a blatant double standard that if they freely express their erotic mind, they will be judged and condemned. So they are restricted to not be able to express what they want, but are pressured to not object to what they don’t want.


And for far too many men, they want a woman who presents no sexuality in public to be exactly the opposite in private—but only with them. Our desires don’t control our actions.  Desires may be beyond our control, but our actions are within our control. As are our attitudes towards our sexual partners.

So I will extend the connection here to sex with animals and children being unacceptable for the same reason that repressing women’s ability to be free to express their unedited erotic selves is unacceptable and is connected to being forced to not being allowed to refuse, or to be forced to participate with those that do not, and equally being forced to not be free to participate, initiate or consent in whatever is erotically appealing to them.

These are rules that define sexual conduct between adult consenting humans. They are not guidelines for non-sexual human relations or interspecies relations. We all, in our universal quest for sexual satisfaction, deserve to be free to choose to express our desires and lusts and kinks and fetish’s as we want. Without exception.


Except one: When it denies another the ability to pursue that same choice.

The connection is in fact not an issue of sexuality, but one of force and control–an imbalance of power, where one of the involved parties cannot, or is denied the right to, consent to or communicate in their sexual actions and choices.


Both involved parties must be conscious, fully informed, and positive in their desires in order to be able to give genuine consent.


The bottom line is – if you fuck animals, or engage in any other form of sexual contact with them, you are engaging in nonconsensual behavior with a creature that is unable to consent.

It also delves more deeply into these connections with the known interaction of animal sexual abuse with violence against people and child sexual abuse. All three are not about sex.

Rape is about power. Rape isn’t about a man getting carried away with passion and desire. It is about controlling the victim and removing their autonomy, control, decision making powers, and humanity.

Consent is when one can say no, and that no is accepted. And equally, but more nuanced, when one is empowered to be free to not just say yes, but ask that their desires be equally free to be requested to be fulfilled. Consent demands not only giving it but also receiving and exchanging it.


Clearly animals cannot do that. Bestiality and sex with children are model cases of demanding sex without consent, denying that to another, while also confusing affection and acquiescence for consent.

Guess what the single largest reasons people engage in bestiality is? The fact that no negotiation is required. In other words no negotiation means they eliminated the issue of consent. Or, even more offensively, chose to demand that only one person’s desires mattered and they imposed them on another.


A study of those who had sex with animals found that 74% gave the reason as no need for negotiation.  Another study of juvenile sex offenders found that of those who had engaged in sex with animals, 96 percent admitted to sexual abuse against humans as well. Those that sexually abused animals also had a much higher rate of sexual abuse against humans than other sex offenders. So the connection between sex with animals and rape is established.

Abusing an animal is a way for a human to find power and fulfillment through the use of a victim they know cannot defend itself.


Now let’s break down a human crime, say rape: If we substitute a few pronouns, it’s exactly the same. Rape is a way for a human to find power and fulfillment through the forcible use of someone against their will who cannot defend themselves. Now try it with sexual abuse of a child or spousal abuse: Child abuse is a way for a human to find power and fulfillment through the forced use of someone they know cannot defend themselves.  The line separating an animal abuser from a child abuser to a rapist is much finer than is comfortable.


People abuse animals and children for the same reasons they abuse people. Some of them will stop with animals, but enough have been proven to continue on to commit violent crimes to people that it’s worth paying attention to. Virtually every serious violent offender has a history of animal abuse in their past. The connection gets more alarming.

Studies of prison inmates show 75% of violent offenders had early records of animal cruelty. 30% of convicted child molesters and 48% of convicted rapists admitted animal cruelty in their childhood. 71% of abused women report that their batterers have threatened to hurt/kill their pets or have done so. 32% of battered women with children report that their children have hurt or killed pets. 25%-48% of battered women delay leaving an abusive situation for fear of what will happen to her pet if left behind. 48% of rapists have committed acts of animal cruelty as children or adolescents. 30% of child molesters have committed acts of animal cruelty as children or adolescents.
15% of all active rapists also rape animals. 40% of animal abusers committed brutal crimes against people.

Cruelty toward animals is a marker for violence toward humans.


If a person behaves violently towards an animal, this is violent behavior that, in all likelihood, is not confined to animals.


Children exposed to domestic violence are 3 times more likely to act out animal cruelty than children in nonviolent homes. 88% of New Jersey families with physical abuse in the household claimed animals were abused as well. 12 different independent studies show 18% – 48% of battered women delay leaving abusive situations out of fear for the safety of their animals.


Violence against small, helpless, or non-threatening creatures unlikely to retaliate is a precursor to assaulting children, women, and the elderly, disabled, or other vulnerable victims. Batterers who hurt animals resort to more types of violence and controlling behaviors to humans than batterers who do not abuse animals.

It gets even more ugly.

Every serial sex rapist ever recorded has a history of animal abuse.


Ted Bundy, Son of Sam, Jeffrey Dahlmer, the Boston Strangler, William Gacy and on down to the less infamous.


Dennis Rader, the “BTK” (Bind-Torture-Kill) murderer in Wichita, Kansas, confessed to strangling cats and dogs prior to his sadistic spree raping and torturing and murdering untold numbers of women. His day job? An animal control law enforcement officer for the city.


Washington D.C. convicted serial killer Lee Boyd Malvo stalked and killed cats with a slingshot. “This was probably the most serious problem…in a strikingly obedient child,” his court psychologist testified. Malvo once had a pet cat but grew to hate animals, a psychologist testified at his murder trial, because his mother would beat Malvo when the cat would sleep in Malvo’s bed and soil the sheets. “If he saw a stray cat he would become angry and shoot the stray cat. He hit some of the cats, and probably killed some of the cats,” she said.


Columbine High School shooter Eric Harris smashed the heads of mice with a crowbar and set them on fire.


Russell Weston Jr., tortured and killed 12 cats: burned and cut off their tails, paws, ears; poured toxic chemicals in their eyes to blind them; forced them to ingest poison, and hung them from trees. He later killed 2 officers at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, DC.

Jeffrey Dahlmer impaled frogs, staked cats to trees and decapitated dogs. Later he dissected boys and kept their body parts in the refrigerator. He raped and murdered 17 men.


Kip Kinkle shot 25 classmates and others in Springfield, Oregon. He killed his father and mother. Before that, he blew up a cow, set a live cat on fire and dragged it down Main Street of town. Classmates rated him as “Most Likely to Start WWIII.”


Albert De Salvo, the “Boston Strangler,” placed a dog and cat in a crate and after starving the animals for days; he watched them kill each other. Later, he raped and strangled 13 women.


Richard Allen Davis set cats on fire before he killed all of Polly Klaus’ animals before abducting, raping and murdering her when she was age 12.


11-year-old Andrew Golden and 13-year-old Mitchell Johnson tortured and killed dogs before, in Jonesboro, Arkansas, they shot and killed 4 students and 1 teacher during a fire drill at their school.


16-year-old Luke Woodham stabbed his mother to death, killed 2 classmates and shot 7 others. He later confessed to bludgeoning his dog, Sparkle, with baseball bats and pouring liquid fuel down her throat and set fire to her neck. “I made my first kill today,” he wrote in his journal. “It was a loved one…I’ll never forget the howl she made. It sounded almost human.”


Ted Bundy, executed in 1989 for at least 50 murders, was forced to watch his grandfather torture animals. Bundy later piled animal bones on human graves.


Gary Ridgway, the Green River killer, suffocated a cat as a child years before kidnapping, raping and murdering more than 40 prostitutes in Washington State.


At four years old Michael Cartier dislocated the legs of rabbits and hurled a kitten through a closed window. He later shot a woman 3 times in the head.


Henry Lee Lucas killed numerous animals and had sex with their corpses. Later he killed his mother, wife, and several other people.


Edward Kemperer hacked to death 2 cats. Later, he killed his grandparents, mother, and 7 other women.


Richard Speck threw a bird into a ventilator fan. Later he killed 8 women.


Randy Roth taped a cat to a car’s engine and used an industrial sander on a frog. He then killed 2 of his wives and attempted to kill a third.


David Richard Davis fatally shot 2 ponies, hurled a wine bottle at kittens and shot randomly animals. Later, he murdered his wife for insurance money.


Peter Kurten, the Dusseldorf Monster, tortured dogs, and practiced bestiality while killing animals. He murdered or attempted to murder over 50 men, women and children.


Richard Trenton Chase, “The Vampire Killer of Sacramento,” bit the heads off birds, drained animals for their blood, killed animals for their organs, and later killed 6 people in random attacks.


“The Kobe Killer,” a 15-year-old boy in Japan, beheaded a cat and strangled several pigeons before he decapitated an 11-year-old girl. He also killed a 10-year-old girl with a hammer, and tried to rape 3 other children in separate attacks.


Richard William Leonard’s grandmother forced him to mutilate cats and kittens when he was a child. He later killed someone with a bow and arrow and murdered another by slashing their throat.


Tom Dillion murdered other people’s pets. He later shot and killed five other people.


Nine-year-old Eric Smith strangled a neighbor’s cat. At 13, he bludgeoned a 4-year-old to death after luring the boy into the woods, choking him, sodomizing him with a stick, and fatally beat him with a rock.


David Berkowitz, the infamous “Son of Sam,” poisoned his mother’s parakeet out of jealousy before shooting 13 young couples, men and women.


Arthur Shawcross repeatedly threw a kitten into a lake until the kitten drowned from exhaustion before killing a young girl. After 15-1/2 years in prison, he killed 11 more women.


Michael Perry decapitated a neighbor’s dog. Later, he killed his parents, infant nephew and 2 neighbors.


Jason Massey’s killing resume began with cats and dogs; at 20 he decapitated and disemboweled a 13-year-old girl and fatally shot a 14-year old boy. He claims to have killed 37 cats, 29 dogs and 6 cows.


Patrick Sherrill stole neighborhood pets, tethered them with baling wire and encouraged his dog to mutilate them. He killed 14 co-workers and himself in 1986.


Keith Jesperson, the “Happy Face Killer,” bashed gopher heads and beat, strangled and shot stray cats and dogs. Later he strangled 8 women. He said: “You’re actually squeezing the life out of these animals… Choking a human being or a cat — it’s the same feeling…I’m the very end result of what happens when somebody kills an animal at an early age.”


Carroll Edward Cole, executed in 1985 for 35 murders, confessed that his first act of violence was to strangle a puppy under the porch of his house.


Robert Harris murdered two 16-year-old boys, doused a neighbor with lighter fluid and tossed matches at him. Earlier he was caught by police killing neighborhood cats.

Defenders of sex with animals use the same arguments as those who excuse or defend sex with children and rape of women.  They split the conduct into two categories. Desiring to fuck and to be fucked against their will. Open practitioners of sex with animals say they would never hurt an animal and the animal willingly wants to fuck them. “As a self-confessed zoophile, I personally have no interest in abusing, hurting or torturing animals. I do not go around, breaking into people’s houses and having sex with their pets. Most people with zoosexual tendencies are very sensitive to the needs and body language of their pets. One who knows their animal can quite easily tell if they are stressed or unhappy by a given situation. Simply to say they cannot speak does not, and never has, meant an animal cannot communicate. There’s certainly a grey moral area when it comes to men sticking their cocks in female or male animals, and I don’t show any of that on my website – it feels too close to rape,” says one, 
“But a dog fucking a woman is a different situation entirely. A male dog won’t get an erection and actively take control of humping a woman unless it wants to.”


It is this same self-deluded, self-justification argument which is used by pedophiles; that it is a mutual act of affection to fuck a child just taken to the next step.


And how many women reading this are familiar with the argument that “She wouldn’t have dressed that way or been in that place alone if she didn’t want to be fucked?” Would a candlelight dinner, champagne, romantic music, gifts, etc be considered coercion or trickery? A friendly smile? She—like the children and animals are expressing non-verbal approval to be fucked regardless of whether the offer verbal consent, according to this line of argument.

Rape is sexual assault that is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person’s consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, and abuse of authority or with a person who is incapable of valid consent. “Victim blaming” is holding them to be in whole or in part responsible for the crime, that certain victim behaviors, such as flirting, or wearing sexually-provocative clothing, may encourage rape, suggesting victims are  “asking for it”, simply by not behaving demurely.


That power is reserved to men whereas women are meant for sex and objectified, that if women want sex it is the equivalent of wanting forced sex, and that male sexual impulses and behaviors are uncontrollable and must be satisfied.


To take it one step further, rape has throughout history been viewed less as a type of assault on the female, than a serious property crime against the man to whom she belonged, typically the father or husband. The damage was done to the husband, or father if she was unmarried, severely depreciating her value to a prospective husband. In such cases a demand for financial compensation from the rapist, payable to the woman’s household, whose “goods” were “damaged”, was the penalty. The woman was a piece of property.

Under biblical law, the rapist might be compelled to marry the unmarried woman instead of receiving the civil penalty if her father agreed.  And it isn’t ancient history. In every U.S. state it was legal for a husband to rape his wife until 1975, when South Dakota finally made it a crime to force your wife to have sex against her will.

As the gruesome facts above show, rape is not about sex. Rape is about power, control, objectification, and ownership. Rape is not about a man getting carried away with passion and desire. As is made intentionally disturbingly clear above, rape is not about sexual attraction at all, but rather about controlling the victim and removing their autonomy and humanity. The rape of a woman, as with sex with animals and children, is an act of power and control through force and violence, rather than one of sex.

In 2008, the United Nations recognized the connection between rape and power, officially declared rape to be a weapon of war. It didn’t take a genius to figure that out.  From Roman history and the Mongol empire right through the colonization of the Americas, rape was not held to be a crime. Rather, rape was one of the spoils of victory of power through violence. Under Spanish law in colonizing America, native women could be raped because they were considered Pagan and not Christian.


Throughout history, the rape of women has been regarded as a recognized, legitimate spoil of war, ancient enough to be mentioned in the Bible. The systematic rape of as many as 80,000 women by the Japanese soldiers during six weeks the Nanking Massacre in China is an example. During World War II an estimated 200,000 Korean and Chinese women were forced into prostitution in Japanese military brothels, as so-called “Comfort women”. 200,000 women were raped during the Bangladesh Liberation War a few decades ago by the Pakistani army. Serbs raped 20,000 Bosnian Muslim women during the Bosnian War in the 1990’s. More than 200,000 females living in the Congo today have been raped during the recent wars there.


In 1998, the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda found that systematic rape was used in the Rwandan genocide. It said: “Sexual assault formed an integral part of the process of destroying the Tutsi ethnic group and that the rape was systematic and had been perpetrated against Tutsi women only, manifesting the specific intent required for those acts to constitute genocide.” 500,000 women were raped during that 1994 Rwandan Genocide.

So rape as an instrument of control and power and violence seems rather indisputable.


As is sex with animals.



And as is sex with a child.

So let’s move on to sex with children. It is rape, sexual assault, and unacceptable because a child has no ability to consent. Everyone knows a child saying ‘yes’ does not mean s/he wants to or enjoys it or agrees. It, too, is a form of coercive and manipulative abuse of power over someone incapable of freely determining whether they are acting by consent. It is because they cannot, on an equal basis, say ‘no’, that they are targeted.

But where most common sex takes the form of willing manipulation, child abuse is coercive: the abuser preys upon a child’s intellectual helplessness. The abuser gets all the self-satisfaction he or she wants and in the process leaves the child with a life-long legacy of having been manipulated into aspects of eroticism well before having developing any defense mechanisms to cope with the psychological and sexual assaults.

Studies of child sex offenders show that pedophiles use psychological manipulation to meet personal needs, justifying abuse by making excuses, defining their actions as love, and using the power imbalance that is always fact in all adult-child relationships. They also defend their actions saying the children they raped enjoyed it and were sexual beings, or that they weren’t responsible because of uncontrollable sexual urges, and felt they were entitled to their sexual desires fulfilled.

The connection between child abuse and animal abuse and forcing women to both act against their sexual will–and be forbidden from acting according to their sexual will–is also clear.


30% of convicted child molesters and 48% of convicted rapists admitted animal cruelty in their childhood. Another study showed 40% of persons convicted of child abuse admitted they abused animals and 30% of persons convicted of rape confessed to prior animal abuse. Studies also found that a history of animal abuse was found in 25% of male criminals, 30% of convicted child molesters, 36% of domestic violence cases and 46% of homicide cases.

The connection between sex with animals and children and rape and sexual assault of women has far less to do with sex than it does with sexualizing power and control to deny or target those who can’t say ‘yes’ to act out selfish demands.


It is exactly the absence of consent that is what the offender lusts after.


It doesn’t matter whether physical harm occurs. What matters is that one participant is not able to be fully informed, communicate consent, or to speak for themselves.


For consent to be exchanged both participants must be conscious, fully informed and positive in their desires.


The animal or child is unable to understand the act or even understand it at the physical level. This is similar to having sex with a mentally handicapped adult. It is taking advantage of their inability to comprehend.

Even if the animal or child physically ‘consents’–as in does not resist the physical advances of an adult human– they still cannot be said to be consenting. There is no contract as such between both parties.  In an act of rape the potential exists for reciprocity, but it is not fulfilled. Only one party – the rapist – derives any pleasure from the act, while the victim is denied the option to choose what pleasures her or him or, in the case of animals, it.

Consent is the exchange of voluntary, sober, wanted, informed, mutual, honest, and verbal agreement. It cannot be coerced or imposed. Consent cannot be coerced. It is a process to be asked for every step of the way. If you want to move on to something else, just ask.


Consent is never implied and cannot be assumed. The absence of a “no” doesn’t mean “yes”. It always requires that both participants be equally involved in any sexual decision or activities to have sex.


This destroys and eliminates myths such as the stud vs. slut stereotype. It frees everyone to find and choose without restraint what he or she both want and don’t want.


It means every individual is responsible for not only their own sexual conduct but requires them to engage in mutual sex with those who have and can take the same responsibility.


Communicating with your partner about sexual needs and desires liberates for women and men to both want and enjoy sex. Knowing your personal beliefs and values and respecting your partner’s personal beliefs and values allows us all to be free to explore and free from judgment.


Your desires may be beyond your control, but your actions are within your control.  Sexual excitement does not justify forced sex.

As a corollary, only each us can prevent rape or sexual assault–by not doing it.


A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn’t have long hair and women shouldn’t wear short skirts. Women shouldn’t leave drinks unattended. Hell, women shouldn’t dare to get drunk at all.


What utter bullshit and profoundly counterproductive to all men who are seeking sexual fulfillment.


Instead, if a woman is drunk, don’t rape her.


If a woman is walking alone at night, don’t rape her.


If a woman is drugged and unconscious, don’t rape her.


If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don’t rape her.


If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don’t rape her.


If a woman is in a coma, don’t rape her.


If an animal can’t say ‘yes’, don’t fuck it.


If a woman changes her mind in the middle of, or about a particular activity, don’t rape her.


If a woman has refused a certain activity, don’t rape her.


If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don’t rape her.


If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don’t rape her.


If your stepdaughter is watching TV, don’t rape her.


If your friend thinks it’s okay to rape someone, tell him it’s not.


Tell your sons and grandsons, sons of friends it’s not okay to rape someone.


Don’t tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape. Don’t imply that she could have avoided it if she’d only done this and not done that. Don’t imply that it’s in any way her fault.


Don’t accept a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions.

So, for me, that takes care of the issue of the actual act, or experiencing, sex with children and animals.


It in no way denies or judges that many people have sexual urges and fantasies of underage sex, being raped or raping, sex without consent, and yes, sex with animals. It is only when acted on that each of these crosses the acceptable boundaries.

Coerced and non consensual sex not just forces others to participate against their will; it forces many not to participate in sexuality they in fact desire.


For many, if not all women, there is a blatant double standard that if they freely express their erotic mind, they will be judged and condemned. And, for far too many men, they want a woman who must repress their public sexuality but act the opposite in private—often only with them.


So never assume before you proceed. A good lover is a good listener. A bad listener is at best a bad lover and at worst a rapist.


Whether a sexual desire or fantasy is natural or perverted does not depend on what organs are used or where they are put, but only that mutual consent guides the sexual encounter.  It just needs mutual agreement of response to the other’s sexual arousal.


Consent by definition is the exchange of mutual agreement. If one is going to engage in sexual activity with another not only should they have consent they must exchange it. Not only is it someone’s right to give consent but also it is equally your obligation to receive consent.


Because animals are not capable of saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is exactly why you cannot fuck them, period. And by extension, why it is essential that you not only offer consent but you receive consent in any sexual encounter. This question of whether non-sexual human relations with animals is a consensual one is spurious. We are referring to human sexually activity with a partner—in this case wo(man) or beast.

Which leads us to the difference between fantasy desires and actions: There is a difference between sexual desires of fantasy and brutal, violent reality. There also is a difference between the fundamental right of choice in one’s fantasy and the loss of control as a victim of sexual assault.

The most common fantasies for men and women are reliving an exciting sexual experience, imagining sex with a current partner, and imagining sex with a different partner.


The next most common fantasies are oral sex, sex in a romantic location, sexual power or irresistibility, and forced sex.


45.8% of men in a 1980 study said they fantasized about being raped by a woman and 44.7% of fucking a woman who “pretends resisting” and 33% of raping a woman.


More than half of women fantasized of being raped or coerced forcibly into sex.


The top women’s fantasies include older women fantasizing about sex with a much younger man, or a man of a different ethnicity, or a man who is lower than them on the social scale, like the fantasy of the pool man or the delivery boy; Quickie sex with a total stranger, often on a plane or train; being overwhelmed and taken against their will or raped (but not painfully or violently); sex with another woman, even if they don’t consider themselves to be lesbian; sex with someone who cares for them such as a doctor or priest.


For younger women, “Daddy” fantasies about older men are common. Older women fantasize about their sons much younger friends. Sex with someone who is a blur.


More women than men fantasize about location and setting like making love on the deserted beach of a beautiful island.

Fantasies are frequently used to escape real-life sexual restraints and to imagine dangerous or illegal scenarios.


Fantasy is a normal, healthy part of sex for men and women. A rich fantasy life leads to better sex. One of the attractions of fantasy lovers — even when your fantasy lover is actually your current partner, as often happens — is that they’re right beside you, and they know just what to do to make you feel good. And you can enjoy fantasy sex with someone other than your partner without repercussions, because it occurs solely in your mind. Fantasy gives you an outlet for all of the wild, lustful, often forbidden urges that you’ve always wanted to do.

Now to digress and insert the Internet as a way of expressing sexual fantasies and how it is healthy and contributes to decreasing—not promoting—unacceptable sexual conduct.  In 2001, the four states with the lowest per capita access to the Internet were Arkansas, Kentucky, Minnesota, and West Virginia. The four states with the highest Internet access were Alaska, Colorado, New Jersey, and Washington.


Next look at the figures for forcible rape compiled by police reports for the years 1980 and 2000. In the four states with lowest Internet access, the increase in rape was 53%. The four states with highest Internet access the decrease in rape was 27%.


The same phenomenon has followed changes in pornography laws when eased around the world. In Japan the laws legalizing pornography were met with a stark decrease in sexual violence over the period of change, sex crimes in every category, from rape to sexual assault against children significantly decreased. Despite the wide increase in availability of pornography to children, not only was there a decrease in sex crimes with juveniles as victims but the number of juvenile offenders also decreased significantly. These same findings were seen with the rise of sexually explicit materials in Denmark, Sweden and West Germany. In West Germany, from 1971 to 1987 group rape rates decreased 59%. Rape by strangers decreased 33%.  In Japan the number of rapes committed by individuals known to the victim, decreased. Since rapes by strangers or groups are more likely to be reported than date or marital rapes, again there is little doubt these findings in Japan represent real differences.

While pornography does arouse people sexually, it leads to legal sexual expressions through fantasy. Couples might have increased their love making frequency, artists might have created newly inspired works of art, multitudes might have used the pornography as vehicles for sexual self knowledge and many used the material for reading or viewing pleasure and masturbation.


All of these are positive, legal and constructive, or at least nondestructive, social outlets.


Erotic fantasies expressed, not repressed, are a way to relieve the sexual suffocation we all are victims of and promote healthy expression, rather than the unacceptable acting out of behaviors that violate others right to their own sexual freedom and choices.

So the point of all the above overflow of dry facts and academic analysis of fucking, lust, perversion and desire is that it is all normal.


Think and lust how we all want to.


But never deny another that exact pleasure by forcing them to satisfy yours by denying them theirs. All sexual acts and sexual crimes begin with fantasy.

A perfect example of where fantasy allows full pleasure without denying others their own is found in the edges of the forbidden corners of the BDSM community.  Many, both women and men, find deep and pure sexual pleasure in being dominated or submissive—including fantasies of purely non consensual sex. Many include domination, control, humiliation, pain, injury, and violence, or a combination of these themes, as a means to elicit suffering. As the fantasies vary, so does the degree of violence. But there are clear rules on how those are satisfied. Sexual role-playing of rape fantasy is self-defined as ‘ravishment’ or ‘forced sex role-play’. To make the distinction between consensual role-play and non-consensual assault. Though consent is absolutely paramount the illusion of non-consensuality or rape is important to maintaining the fantasy. Crossing the line is rape and assault. One or more “safe words” are used to communicate being consenting partners. All participants agree what will transpire beforehand. Limits are respected and made very clear, to maintain consensual play.

Who knows why we all have different desires and sexual tastes? Who cares? The only way that we can each seek and enjoy and satisfy the demands of our often fiery, sweltering, turbulent, and ecstatically pleasurable and sometimes disturbing lust in the forbidden corners of our erotic minds, is to ensure no one restricts them.


And that means we cannot restrict or deny the same in others.


So, I say feel free to fuck who, where, how, and when you want. As long as you do not deny me or anyone their pleasure in doing the same. And having both the right and ability to say exactly what that is.


And that means, by definition, stay the fuck away from my dog, Lamont.

Analysis of What Topics Interest Readers of My Blog Alarming: Sex, British Royal Murder Plot, CIA Mistress Outperform North Korea, Cambodia, Pol Pot, Journalism

6 Jan

Analysis of What Topics Interest Readers of My Blog Alarming: Sex, British Royal Murder Plot, CIA Mistress Outperform North Korea, Cambodia, Pol Pot, Journalism

I have analyzed the reasons people arrived at my blog, the topics that interested them, and the search terms used that pointed them my way. It is not reassuring. They overwhelmingly comprise a rather odd set of search terms people used to access my blog, which one can track from whence and, through the search terms used, what issues piqued the readers interest and led them to read your stuff. It gives me a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, annual, and all time report of what search terms were used. Separately it tells you whether readers arrived via a FB, Twitter, or other blog or website referral.

My wordpress blog was only created in September. The top search term—overwhelmingly—was for “korean sex” used 550 times, followed well behind by “what is a cornball brother” with 76.  To my chagrin Cambodia, North Korea, the Khmer Rouge, or for that matter, Nate Thayer, came in well near the bottom of the pack.

The overwhelming topic of interest was sex, of which is not among the topics that dominate my scribbling. The search terms were variations of the theme sex, with among the top 20 “sex Korean”; “koreansex”;   “korean sex.com”; “korea sex.com”; “www.north korean sex.com; “north korean porn”; “korya sex”; “sex in north korea”; “free sex”; ”korean couple”; “north korean women”; “hot north korean women”; “pyongyang porn”; “koreansex”; “korean couple sex”; “handsome north korean men”; koren sex”; “korean sex porn“; “korea sex free”; “north korean [porn”; “North korean porn hardcore”; “North Koreaa porn xxx”.

The next most popular search terms involved the dead brit nurse who answered the Aussie radio pranksters phone call posing as the Queen of England and Prince Charles of which all the terms involved a British royal conspiracy behind the “murdered” nurse who committed suicide after the publicity.

They included: “nurse killed by royal family”; “english nurse royal conspiracy”; “ british royal family murder”; “royal family killed nurse”; “royal family murdered nurse”; “british nurse suicide or murder”; “was kate’s nurse executed” ;“royal nurse was murdered by queen”; ”royal family british secret”; “royal family nurse murderers”; “british nurse suicide”; “nurse death royal family conspiracy”;     “nurse murdered by royal family”; “royal family killed nurse”; “royal family murder nurse”; “royal nurse murdered”; “was royal nurse murdered”; “korea sexy wellpaper”; “royal family conspiracy nurse death”; “british nurse murdered by monarchy”; “royal nurse suicide really murder?”; ‘british royl familiy assassination nurse”;“was the royal nurse murdered”; “royal family mafia killed the nurse”; “royal family prank call nurse murdered”; “royal family has nurse executed’; “royals arranged murder of nurse”;“royal family killed nurse conspiracy”; “dark secrets of the royal family uk”; “kates nurse death first thought murder”; “nurse conspiracy royal family”; “royal family kiledl nurse in England”; “the royal family killed the nurse”: “royals murdered nurse“; “did the royal family murder the nurse”; “nurse death conspiracy”; “nurse killed by royal family”

The third most popular category involved the affair between Paula Broadwell and CIA director David Petraeus.

These terms included:  “paula dean kranz jew”; “paula broadwell fucking”; “paula broadwell slut”; “”paula dean kranz”; “paula broadwell mossad”; “parents of paula dean kranz broadwell”; “paula broadwell facking”; “”paula dean kranz”; “is paula dean kranz jewiish”; “who was general petraeus fucking”; “paula kranz broadwell jewish”; “fucking broadwell”; “parents of paula dean kranz broadwell”    

There were two searches for “women thayer is getting fuck”.

Given I wrote exactly one article involving Korean sex, Pyongyang Porn: made in Scotland on Sept 8, 2012, a satirical article on how many people in the U.K seriously believed there was a vast British monarchy conspiracy that murdered the nurse to prevent the revelations of some dark secret, In December that was, well, never specified what it was, and one article on why Broadwell fucking Petraeus really was not a matter of my interest nor one of national security in December, and more than 50 articles on what consists of the topics which comprise a good chunk of my life’s work on North Korean, Cambodia, and the Khmer Rouge, it was all a bit depressing.


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